Dreams Are Serious Business

Hello friends!

I wish I were a more regular blogger.  I apologize for that!

Well, the past two months have been full of adventure! In August my best friend and I went to Australia for two weeks. It was an incredible trip, made even better by the fact that it was something we'd dreamed of doing for 15 years. There's a lot I could say about it, but really there's just one thing that I feel compelled to share...

One day while in Australia, I jokingly told Lexi that, now that we'd accomplished our life dream, we had hit our peak. "Life's all downhill from here, I guess!" I joked. "I mean, what now? We made it to Australia, what else is there to dream about or work towards!" I was kidding, of course, but I really was a little lost as to what it was going to be like not to have this dream to look forward to. The Australia dream had become part of my identity. Something that I had talked about, saved up for, and worked towards almost since I could remember.

Then I suddenly realized how exciting this could be... What if I came up with a new dream? My mind immediately thought of all the other countries I'd love to visit - all the things I'd like to learn or do. But all of my ideas were too "easy." There was nothing risky about them. And although that doesn't make them invalid, I wanted something bigger. Something that was a little more uncomfortable to voice because it seemed too unrealistic.

You know what would be really cool? I remember thinking. To set foot on all seven continents.

Yeah. That's what I want to do. That's my new life dream. "Even Antarctica?" Lexi asked, when I told her. Yup, even Antarctica. It's crazy. It could take a lifetime to achieve. But it's something I want to do, and I don't want to be afraid to dream big.

And as if for confirmation, a few days later Lex and I were sitting in the airport and struck up a conversation with a woman there who told us her (crazy) life story. She had traveled all over the world, and as she told us about her travels, she mentioned Antarctica.

"Wait, you've been to Antarctica?" I asked, excitedly.

"Oh yes, honey!" she told me. "Many times!"

What the...

It turns out this woman's husband had had a disease which only slowed down in cold weather, so the two of them ended up taking several cruises down to Antarctica while he was still alive. She proceeded to tell us all about it, encouraging us to go for ourselves someday.

It was a neat confirmation for me, and leaving that conversation I was excited by the thought that my dream of setting foot on every continent  might not be so far-fetched after all. If this woman could visit Antarctica (probably the most rare and difficult continent to travel to) - multiple times no less - then maybe I can too! Even if it's thirty years from now, at least I know I don't have to become a scientific researcher to do it.

All that to say - I think we all need to make the conscious decision to dream. To find something that excites us - something that, if we could do it (or see it or experience it), would make us come alive - and go after it. It doesn't have to involve travel. It could be learning a new language or instrument. It could be writing a book. It could be starting a business. Honestly, it could be anything.

But whatever it is, make sure you're dreaming BIG. Don't let your dream be tempered by your concept of the "realistic," because if your concept of what's realistic is anything like mine, it's pretty limiting and easily shattered. Your dream may require hard work and a lot of time. It may even take your whole life to achieve. But there are not many moments in life that have been more exciting or empowering than when I accomplished a dream that I'd set my heart on for over a decade.

I'm convinced that when we intentionally, patiently pursue preposterous dreams, life takes on more meaning.

I hope that reading this will encourage you to start dreaming risky things. Don't let the voice of Realistic convince you to settle. Establish a goal and be willing to allow time for it to be realized - the time is going to pass regardless. And in the meantime, dream other dreams. Plan a road trip to a place you've never been. Start a journal. Pick up a new hobby. Read a book you've always been curious about. We have the tendency to become accustomed to the ordinariness of life, but I believe that dreams are a way for us to be intentional about recognizing and entering into the beautiful moments it affords us.

Life is beautiful and dreams are serious business. So be brave, get out there, and live.

Always

     Tonight I went on a walk. And as I walked, I talked with Jesus. Lately this has become my favorite way to  spend time with him - wandering around with no planned destination and no other companions. There's something so rich about these times... I've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes trying to put it into words, but I can't. Nothing seems sufficient. 

     Suffice it to say that I crave these times with the Lord, away from all the distractions that drag me around day after day. I begin my walks talking to Jesus about anything and everything that is on my mind, but inevitably run out of things to say and find myself sitting in silence, just listening.

     And do you know what I hear?

     I've found that I hear it every time I quiet my soul and listen, but for some reason it wasn't until tonight that I realized that it is always echoing, for me and for anyone else who will stop and listen, if only we'd slow down.

     So as I sat on some train tracks and watched the mountain skyline grow dark, I wrote something down to capture this revelation. I almost didn't share it here because it still seems so raw and intimate - something that I wrote in the moment and didn't intend for anyone else - but on my walk home I felt like someone else might need to hear it too. 

     So here it is. I pray that God will speak to you through it. 

________________________________________________________________________

Always.

If you’d just sit and listen,

            you’d hear it.

Sounding more like a heartbeat

            than a voice.

Or, if a voice,

            more like an undying whisper.

If you’d just sit and listen,

            you’d hear it.

It’s a rhythm echoing through eternity,

pulsing through every being,

Billowing through the skies like a wintry breath,

slipping through every cracked and broken heart.

                         It is the heartbeat,

                                  the whisper,

                                 of Immanuel.

So quiet yourself.

Sit still and listen.

With every beat it becomes more substantial,

            more permanent.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I have always loved you.

To Trust Steadily

I'm still mulling over 1 Corinthians 13:13 and what it means for me to live out this call on my life.

"But for right now, until that completeness,
we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:
Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.
And the best of the three is love."

To trust steadily in God.

For the past several months, I've done most of my Bible-reading out of the Message. And I've loved it. There are times when it's a little goofy... like when I was reading in 1 Samuel and found a passage (16:11) where David's men want to kill a man who has been shouting curses at him and he calms them down by saying, "My own son, my flesh and bone, is right now trying to kill me; compared to that this Benjaminite is small potatoes." That gave me a laugh! So... there are times when the translation is a little too nontraditional, but for the most part I've loved it.

To trust steadily in God.

In most translations, this is simply called "faith." And that's what it means... to trust steadily in God is to have faith. But reading it in the Message version helped me slow down and think about it in a different, more meaningful way.

To trust steadily in God.

As I've been thinking about this today, I've been reminded of last semester's Mill retreat, where I first heard the phrase "We never get to graduate from trust" (See my post on October 30, 2012). The phrase still challenges me, mostly because I so often find myself trying to avoid total trust in God. 

It reminds me of when I was little, and I'd lay on my living room carpet and laugh hysterically as my dad would "step" on my belly as he crossed from one side of the room to the other. I thought I had abs of steel, but of course he was stepping in such a way as to avoid putting any real weight on me. 

It's as if I do the same thing with God. Sure, I'll put a little weight on him... but I don't want to put too much. It seems safer and more comfortable not to. 

But that's not what faith is about. I'm called to "trust steadily in God," not to "trust when there's no risk involved."

The word "steady" has many definitions, including:

1. Firm in position or place; fixed.
2. Direct or unfaltering; sure.
3. Free or almost free from change, variation, or fluctuation; uniform.
4. Unwavering, as in purpose; steadfast.
5. Reliable; dependable.

Fixed. Sure. Uniform. Steadfast. Dependable.

So often I am the opposite - changeable. Wavering. Inconsistent. Disloyal. Unreliable.

And yet God's love and grace towards me is steady, so tonight I'm making the decision - again - to trust steadily in him. I'm never going to graduate from this trust.

But I don't want to.

Peering Through the Mist

Winter. There are elements of it that I love - waking up to see Pikes Peak covered in snow, stepping outside and being able to see my breath, bundling up in cozy sweaters, and finding justification for my coffee/tea drinking obsession because there's no better way to keep my hands warm. 

But winter isn't always all that I dream it up to be. There are days - okay, let's be honest - WEEKS when I feel like a disgruntled grizzly bear who hasn't been allowed to hibernate. 

Which is silly. I live in Colorado, the land of eternal sunshine! I have nothing to complain about. 

But in the winter months, I still find myself craving the sun's heat, the summer breeze, the color green, and late nights swinging on my front porch.

Unfortunately, I often allow myself to feel debilitated by the cold. I let it become an excuse for apathy. It's as if my capacity for passion and enthusiasm is covered over with a layer of frost, and I settle for shallow surface-living.  

It's only on the days that I've chosen to spend time with people I love - laughing, growing, and enjoying life with them - that I've realized what I cheat myself out of when I descend into my hollow, wintry moods.  It makes me think of the quote from Les Miserables that says, "To love another person is to see the face of God." On those days when I convince myself that I just don't feel like being around anyone, I rob myself of the chance to see God injecting himself into my day-to-day life.

I'm reading through 1 Corinthians, and today I was reading chapter 13, the famous chapter on Love (incidentally appropriate, since tomorrow is Valentine's Day!). I was struck, as I always am, by its opening verses.

"If I speak with human eloquence 

and angelic ecstasy but don't love,

I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God's Word with power,

revealing all his mysteries 

and making everything plain as day, 

and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 

'Jump,' and it jumps, but I don't love,

I'm nothing.

If I give everything I own to the poor

and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr,

but I don't love I've gotten nowhere.

So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, 

I'm bankrupt without love."

I was instantly convicted. I immediately knew that I've been acting lazily towards love. I've temporarily excused myself from loving my family and friends well. 

And it's true - I feel bankrupt without love.

The times I've felt rich and alive - both over the past few months and in my life in general - are when I've engaged in relationship with people, intentionally choosing to love and be loved by them. And it's the times when I've cut myself off from that - choosing instead to isolate myself and have a bad attitude toward others - that I feel robbed of joy, passion and purpose.

As I continued reading, a verse stood out to me in a way it hasn't before. 1 Corinthians 13:12 says,

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.

But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright!

We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

I've been feeling that fog lately. Not all the time... but like the wintry weather outside, every so often it settles down and I sense my soul peering through the mist in search of the sun. But in the same way that I know that the warmth and brilliance of summer is on its way, a time is coming when I will come face to face with True Love and everything will be lit up by His shining countenance! 

But until that day I have a call on my life. 

To trust steadily in God.

To hope unswervingly.

To love extravagantly.

And the best of the three is love.