Hearts Set on Pilgrimage

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

till each appears before God in Zion."

~Psalm 84:5-7

I read this in my GodTime this morning and felt like sharing it. A few things stood out to me.

First, that we are blessed when our strength is not in ourselves, but in God. This is much of what Lucky, Glenn Packiam's book that I'm reading, is about. He says that is when we are able to acknowledge our lack of strength that we are set up to accept God's rule in our lives. We are not lucky because we are weak, we are lucky because our strength is in Him.

Second, I loved the imagery of having to set our hearts on pilgrimage. Our life is a journey, and for everyone there is a temptation to "camp out." This can happen anywhere - on the mountain peaks or in the valleys. Who wants to leave the beauty of the mountain peak, even if we're promised an even better view further on? And when we're in the valley, it's easy to lose hope. To settle in because we don't know how to get out on our own. Whether it is physical or spiritual, we often choose to stay in one spot, even when God wants to take us to something new.

Third, the "Valley of Baca" intrigued me. I didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up. There are several interpretations, but the main three that I found were "Valley of Tears," "Valley of Loneliness," and "The Desert Valley." At different times in our lives we all go through seasons of tears, loneliness, or spiritual dryness. It can be so hard to believe that anything good could come out of those valleys, but God has the power to make them into places of springs and pools of rain. To bring life where there is none.

And fourth, the reminder to go from "strength to strength." I know from experience that while we're in the valleys, Satan tries to convince us that we'll never get out. He tells us lies like, "You're alone in this valley," "Your best days are behind you," and "This is how you will always feel." Focusing so much on our own weakness, we forget who is with us and who is our strength. Our last moment of strength was not the most He would offer, and the valley we're in is not going to be our "forever." This is our hope, and this is what allows us to keep going when we're at our weakest.

So be encouraged today. Wherever you are, set your heart on pilgrimage. I pray that you are on a glorious mountain peak, that you're soaking up his love and basking in his refreshing grace. And yet, I challenge you not to settle. Go deeper and deeper, from strength to strength. Decide in your heart to be one who is never satisfied with the view you have now because you know there is always something more over the next crest.

But if you're experiencing a valley, remember that this is not where you'll stay. Turn to him who is your strength and confess your dependence. "Lucky are the God-dependent, for they will enjoy and participate in God's rule (Lucky)." As you choose to open yourself up to him, to rely on him in the midst of your tears, loneliness, and frustration, he will begin to bring you out. I don't know how long it will take. But I do know that he came to give us life, and life to the full.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches

he may strengthen you with power

through his Spirit in your inner being,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you,

being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all the saints,

to grasp how wide and long and high and deep

is the love of Christ,

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -

that you may be filled to the measure

of all the fullness of God."

~ Ephesians 3:16-19

God Who Makes It Grow

I'm reading a wonderful book right now called Lucky: How the Kingdom Comes To Unlikely People by a New Life pastor, Glenn Packiam. He is always so filled with wisdom, and the entire book is speaking on a theme that is really challenging me, but I have one little insight that I wanted to share with you before possibly posting a future blog post sharing what else I'm learning from this book.

This quote set me thinking.

"Every time you help the poor in Jesus' name, you are bringing the kingdom to them. You are making that place, that realm, reflect the rule of God. You are making things look the way they would if we allowed God to run the place. Because He is through you."

As I was thinking about this today, I was reminded of two events in my life that have occurred in the last two weeks, and was encouraged by what I felt God saying to me.

First, over this past weekend I was at the local grocery store picking up some food. As I was walking in, a young man was standing outside asking for donations to a ministry here in San Diego that helps homeless children. I walked past, but immediately felt a tug at my heart. I don't remember ever giving money to anyone in front of a grocery store before, but as I walked inside I knew that God was asking me to give to this ministry that was caring for his kids.

So as I was leaving, I walked over and started a conversation with the young man. He told me about the ministry, saying that they bring kids off the streets, give them food and clothing, and send them to school and church. As we talked, I found out that he himself had graduated from the program, and was now independent and going to a community college. He was shy, but the gratitude he had for what he'd been given had obviously compelled him to help.

I gave what little I had in my wallet, and walked away encouraged by what this ministry was doing. To give to it in such a small way seemed silly, but I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to hear about the work he was accomplishing in the lives of these kids.

When I think back to that evening, I find myself wishing that I could somehow follow that money. To see where it went. To see how it helped - even in the smallest way - a child understand the love of his Father.

But I can't. And as I was thinking about this quote from Lucky, I felt God speak something to me.

You don't know how I will use those few dollars, but even with the little that you gave I can do great things. You won't see it until you reach eternity, but you helped to make a child's life reflect my rule. Be content with that knowledge, and wait.

Of course it would be nice to always see the impact of my obedience now, but I'm realizing that there's a certain beauty and mystery to God and the way he includes us in the spread of his kingdom. Sometimes he asks us to act and then encourages us by allowing us to witness the direct result of our obedience. And sometimes he asks us to have faith that he's moving even when we don't see it.

The other incident I want to mention happened two weeks ago. I attend the The Rock college group's Wednesday night services, and on this particular night our post-sermon table discussion ended early. Not wanting to disturb the people at other tables by getting up and leaving, everyone remained there to talk.

I'm not sure how the conversation began, but the guy next to me ended up telling me about some of his problems with the Christian faith. For the most part, he felt that some of the Christian ideals are a little outdated and naive, that they aren't all plausible or applicable in modern day society.

The answer that I felt like God had given me was clear. Unfortunately, my delivery wasn't. There are times that I am able to clearly articulate my thoughts, and this was not one of them. About fifty percent of what came out of my mouth gave me the feeling that I was making less sense than actually communicating anything that God really wanted to say to this guy. In fact, there were moments that I could practically see a thought bubble above his head with the words She's just as naive as her faith! inside it.

Walking out to my car that night, I felt discouraged. I had chosen to speak boldly when the Holy Spirit gave me a message, and yet I felt like I had completely failed.

I really blew that one, God. I hope you can work around my screw-up, I thought.

And then I heard God say something to my heart. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you said exactly what I needed you to? I'm not interested in your eloquence, I'm interested in your obedience. I'm the one doing the work in his heart, not you. I asked you to speak and just because you didn't see him make a change in his beliefs doesn't mean I'm not using your words. All it means is you aren't God, and I am.

What a relief. It reminds me of Paul's words to the Corinthians, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything but only God, who makes things grow." (1 Corinthians 3:6-7)

We are the ambassadors of our King; living, speaking, and praying his kingdom into existence everywhere we go. But the actual kingdom renewal does not rest on our shoulders. We're only the proclaimers. It is the Messiah who brings life.

Looking at moments like the ones I've shared in this new light makes me even more excited for heaven. I imagine God sitting me down and saying something like, "Remember when you gave a couple dollars to that homeless ministry? Look how I used it to bring comfort and peace to a little girl whose life had known nothing but turmoil. She got a taste of the kingdom because you were faithful to move when I asked you to. And see that guy you talked to at church that night? I used your words to challenge him to discover something he believed in strongly enough to speak up for, even when it made him look foolish. He eventually encountered my truth and you had a part to play in that."

Even just picturing the love in his eyes at that moment makes me ache for all the times I ignore the Holy Spirit's whisper. Who am I to judge whether or not I have a worthwhile contribution? If all he's asking of me today is to say a couple kind words to a stranger or buy a sandwich for a person on the sidewalk asking for money, how can I decide it's not worth my time?

I hope you find this as encouraging and challenging as I have. I want to be more faithful to listen and obey when the Holy Spirit nudges me, and let God do the what he will, knowing that he is the one at work, not me.

"My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working."

~John 5:17

Safe?

Lately I've been thinking about Christianity and the way that so many treat it - as a self-help technique, a set of moral guidelines to make you a better person or to bring you more stability and security in life. I believe that is why people can treat it lightly - they don't view it as entering into a story bigger than themselves.

If Christianity is only a suggested tool for making life what you want it to be, other religions or non-religions are almost always going to look equally or more effective to people who are on the outside looking in.

And in that sense, they're right. If what we're looking for is a safe life where we get to have and do anything we want, authentic Christianity is going to be a serious disappointment. If we believe what Jesus says, we will experience as many or more hardships in life as a non-believer. Yes, we will experience blessing, but that may not look the way we'd expect it to.

This is easy for me to say, but difficult to swallow because what he calls me to is not what I in my nature lean towards doing.

So if Christianity doesn't exist to make my life "better" in the sense that it's always easy or I'm always happy, then it must be about something bigger.

A couple days ago as I was driving to work, a verse I have always been confused by popped into my head.

"If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." ~ 1 Corinthians 15:19

I never know what to make of this verse. Shouldn't Paul be promoting our faith as being worthwhile? What about the fact that there is no other religion in this world I'd rather turn? This verse is so discouraging! "Pitied more than all men..." Why would anyone buy into that?

But as I was driving, this verse made sense to me for the first time. Paul was communicating the fact that the hope we have in Christ has much more to do with Jesus' kingdom agenda and much less to do with our earthly agendas. If we put our hope in Christ only for what we hope to get from him now - a successful life by the world's standards - and ignore the life of sacrifice that he asks of us, we are not only sorely misled, we are to be pitied!

The life and ideas of Jesus do not exist to make my life secure and comfortable all the time. If I am going to follow him, I have to be willing to walk through the mountains and the valleys, to experience the moments of great blessing and the moments of intense struggle.

Our choice lies simply in whether we'll follow him wholeheartedly or not. If the answer is yes, we hand over all our "rights," and offer him everything - even our lives.

"If anyone would come after me,

he must deny himself

and take up his cross daily

and follow me." ~ Luke 9:23

Choosing to authentically follow Jesus may not be easy, but those who do never regret it. It reminds me of one of my favorite moments in C.S. Lewis' Narnia series.

“'Is – is he a man?' asked Lucy. 'Aslan a man!' said Mr. Beaver sternly. 'Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion – the Lion, the great Lion.' 'Ooh!' said Susan, 'I’d thought he was a man. Is he – quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.' 'That you will, dearie, and no mistake,' said Mrs. Beaver; 'if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.' 'Then he isn't safe?' said Lucy. 'Safe?' said Mr. Beaver; 'don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He's the King I tell you.'" ~ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

I am thankful today to be serving a King who isn't always safe but who is always good.

Words of Eternal Life

"'You do not want to leave too, do you?' Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." ~ John 6:68-69

This verse has been on my heart lately.

People may challenge my God and my faith, attempting to give me reasons to leave Him, but to whom would I go? I believe and know that Jesus is the Holy One of God. Nothing and no one else I could turn to can bring me life.

I'm not going anywhere.

Plugging In, Part Two

As I have already shared, God is opening my eyes to what worship looks like throughout my week. It has excited and challenged me, and I am still learning, but I love what he is already doing.

A couple weeks ago, as I wrestled with worship and it's meaning in my life, I decided to ask God an honest question.

Why do we worship? If worship is meant to be about the posture of my heart on an everyday basis, then what's the purpose of Sunday morning worship?

It wasn't long before I felt like he spoke something to me.

"If you're not worshiping me on a Sunday morning, it's fairly safe to say you're not worshiping me throughout your week."

Yikes.

Outward worship, the kind we demonstrate at church, isn't just some old tradition that we like to keep around. It's not based on whether or not we feel like participating because the worship leader is or isn't really "bringing it" that day. It's a visible reflection of the posture of our inward hearts!

God was saying to me that if my desire is truly to bring him glory all the time, that needs be manifested in the way I worship him on Sunday mornings. Simple as that.

So why don't I always feel like worshiping? According to A.W. Tozer in his book Knowledge of the Holy, "The Church has surrendered her once lofty concept of God and has substituted for it one so low, so ignoble, as to be utterly unworthy of thinking, worshiping men." And he believes this happens because "It is impossible to keep our moral practices sound and our inward attitudes right while our idea of God is erroneous or inadequate."

If we think we have God figured out we're not going to worship him. We can't put ourselves in a place where we can look down on God and monitor his worthiness on a given day and still be worshiping the infinite and holy God of the Bible! Instead, what we're worshiping is an idol created in our own image. And that, to me, is a terrifying thought, because that's exactly the position that Satan wants me in.

It is widely believed that Satan, before he was the fallen angel, was heaven's "worship leader." Within Ezekiel 28 is found A Prophecy Against the King of Tyre, a figure many scholars see as portraying Lucifer. Here is what some of it says.

"You were the model of perfection,

full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.

You were in Eden, the garden of God;

every precious stone was your covering...

The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes

was prepared for you on the day you were created."

I once heard an interesting sermon on this subject. The pastor said that while Lucifer's voice and instruments were prepared for him by God, in the end his perfection was marred when in his pride he began using these gifts to take the worship away from God.

And Satan is guilty of the same fault today - shifting our focus away from God and convincing us to worship anything but Him. Satan loves it when we create in our minds a god who may even be like God, but is a god of our own making nonetheless.

Yet in the same way, he knows that there is something powerful about using our voices, bodies, and instruments to bring glory to the King of Kings. It says something about the determination of our hearts. We may mess it up, but as we come to him as "true worshipers," worshiping him "in spirit and in truth," (John 4:23-34) God works in our hearts to align and transform and purify us.

It's our choice. Walk away unmoved by a worship service or choose to see Him as worthy of our everything, regardless of the way we feel.

So my challenge to you is the same challenge I have given myself. On Sunday mornings, and any other time you come across a chance to worship God outwardly, come to him in awe of who he is. Engage with him because it's your privilege as his child, not your duty as a participant. He loves it when we choose to plug in.

"Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;

it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

Praise the Lord with the harp;

make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

Sing to him a new song;

play skillfully, and shout for joy."

~Psalm 33:1-3

Souls Filled With Love

I am currently reading Red Moon Rising, a book about the 24-7 prayer movement. It's been an incredible read, and yesterday a quote popped out as being especially relevant to what I have had laid on my heart lately (and just posted about a couple days ago.) I decided to share it with you, since I won't get the chance to share the rest of my thoughts on worship until this weekend.

The quote is from John Wesley in his book A Plain Account of Christian Perfection. Emphasis is added.

"Whether we think of, or speak to, God, whether we act or suffer for Him, all is prayer, when we have no other object than His love, and the desire of pleasing Him. All that a Christian does, even in eating and sleeping, is prayer, when it is done in simplicity, according to the order of God... In souls filled with love, the desire to please God is a continual prayer."

Just as I felt God was teaching me to worship continuously by aligning my desires with his and inviting him into the smallest moments of my life, it appears that He is also teaching me to pray continuously!

The challenge to "pray continually" in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 has always been daunting for me. What kind of super-Christian do you have to become to actually have the ability to do that? However I am learning that while we often find our prayers communicated through our direct words or thoughts to God, they can also be found in our conscious and constant desire to please him.

I think I'd better close out with that. My brain still has a lot to think about.

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you."

~John 15:4a

Plugging In

As is obvious when observing my lack of blog postings over the last several months, I've been struggling with what to write for quite some time. I don't want to say something just for the sake of saying something, so I wait until I feel that I have something of worth to say. Which again, hasn't been as often as I would like.

However over the past three weeks or so God has been laying something on my heart that I finally feel ready to share with you.

It actually began months ago when I was at The Rock during the worship part of our service, and I noticed something. While everyone on stage was full of life and energy, the majority of the people I could see were sitting back in their seats, some watching with a glazed over look in their eyes, others twiddling around on their phones, completely ignoring what was going on around them. Even as I observed it, I sensed it in myself. I was standing, singing and clapping, but there was a half-heartedness to it that I detested the moment I recognized it.

This is not a show, I thought to myself. I knew it was only an echo of what God was saying to all of us.

In Amos 5 God says,

"I hate, I despise your religious feasts;

I cannot stand your assemblies.

Even though you bring me burnt offerings

and grain offerings,

I will not accept them.

Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,

I will have no regard for them.

Away with the noise of your songs!

I will not listen to the music of your harps.

But let justice roll on like a river,

righteousness like a never-failing stream!"

I found this verse after listening to a song by Jon Foreman, lead singer of the band Switchfoot, called Instead of a Show. In it he says, "Away with your noisy worship, away with your noisy hymns. I stop up my ears when I'm hearing them. I hate all your show." It's alarming, in a way, to realize that not only does God recognize when we aren't worshiping Him, but that he is disgusted by it!

Fortunately, at some point in what was really only the noise of the service, someone addressed the crowd's detachment, and challenged everyone to deeper engagement. I hadn't been the only one who'd noticed, and I was thankful for the challenge. But something about that morning has stuck with me over the months.

However it wasn't until a few weeks ago while I was visiting Colorado that I really began hearing God speaking to me regarding worship.

It was Easter morning and I was back at my home church, New Life. Worship began, and almost immediately I started to tear up. It had nothing to do with the song, it wasn't the familiarity of the worship leader's voice, it wasn't the sound of the instruments...

It was the spirit of worship in the room.

Being back in the midst of it nearly broke me down completely. I have been privileged enough to grow up in a church that practices extravagant worship. It's what has caused us to stand up under the weight of a scandal and a shooting, and it is what defines our community more than any other aspect of our church - more than the great sermons, more than the heart for missions, more than the fantastic youth groups, and certainly more than being "that big church in Colorado Springs."

Lifting the name of Jesus high, week-in and week-out. That is what we strive to be about.

I was choked up the entire worship service. I get choked up thinking about it now. There is something so beautiful about "ekklesia," the Greek word for church meaning "the gathering of called-out ones," coming together to worship the one, true God.

My soul craved it, and as worship ended I knew that at my core, I still needed filling. I ended up staying for the next service's worship, marveling at what God was doing in my midst. I walked out of church that day refreshed and grateful for the chance to realign myself with the majesty of who God is.

Since then, God has been speaking these truths and hasn't let me rest from them:

First, that the way I worship reveals the posture of my heart toward Him. It speaks to who I really see Him as, and whether or not I think He's really worth worshiping all the time.

Second, that if I'm not worshiping Him on a Sunday morning it's fairly safe to say that I'm not worshiping him throughout my week.

And third, that I cannot worship anything or anyone else if I am truly worshiping God. Therefore I must consciously choose who I will devote myself to wholeheartedly.

If worship were only for Sundays, things would be easy to fix. Just bumping up the energy of our shows would probably do the trick. We might experience temporary satisfaction, and God would be left with nothing to do but sit back and clap for an encore. You liked that, God? Well just wait 'til you see what we have for you NEXT week!

But God says that worship is about the state of our hearts. That's something we can't fake. He looks inside of us and knows the sincerity of our hearts better than we ourselves do. And what's more, he's not just looking at us on Sundays. Sunday worship services are not a scheduled "heart check-up" he makes, and they're not meant to be our weekly "dose" of good medicine.

Worship is meant to be something we live out all week.

Oh, I know that, I remember thinking. I love worship music. That's all I've been listening to lately!

But God was saying something more.

The state of your heart colors every conversation you have, every act of service you perform, every thought that crosses your mind. My desire is for your heart to be like mine. In the moments that this becomes your desire as well, THOSE are the moments you are truly living worship.

Notice he doesn't expect perfection. It really is about the state of our hearts. Are our desires lined up with his? We may mess up, but he covers us with his grace, only asking that we realign ourselves with him again.

To be honest, I get overwhelmed with the task of worshiping God all the time. I know I can't do it perfectly, and thats frustrating. But he looks at my heart and in the moments that he observes a true and pure desire to glorify him in everything I do, he smiles. That's what he's looking for.

What I am looking for is an increase in the frequency of those moments!

In my prayer journal I have a statement written down which I felt God speaking to me a couple weeks ago that reminds me of that. It says, "You've been unplugged. The source has never changed or moved, you simply weren't connected. Plug in."

God knows how easily we get unplugged, but he wants connection. He wants to be a part of our daily lives. We hear that all the time, but how often do we actually invite him in? I once heard someone say, "God is a gentleman. He's not going to barge in, he wants to be invited." It sounds so simple, but as I've begun practicing this discipline in earnest, I've found that I need to do it several times a day. Not for "good measure," but because I truly need to remind myself to plug in that often.

Worship isn't always about singing. Most of the time it's about inviting God into the little moments, asking him to align our hearts with his, and giving him the chance to move and act in the midst of our words, actions, and thoughts.

I hope you'll join me in learning how to do that. It takes conscious effort, but I believe that where we set our gaze, we will go.

There is more to be said, but I think I will end today with that. I'll be posting again soon.

"I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always

be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together."

~Psalm 34:1-3