To Trust Steadily

I'm still mulling over 1 Corinthians 13:13 and what it means for me to live out this call on my life.

"But for right now, until that completeness,
we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:
Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.
And the best of the three is love."

To trust steadily in God.

For the past several months, I've done most of my Bible-reading out of the Message. And I've loved it. There are times when it's a little goofy... like when I was reading in 1 Samuel and found a passage (16:11) where David's men want to kill a man who has been shouting curses at him and he calms them down by saying, "My own son, my flesh and bone, is right now trying to kill me; compared to that this Benjaminite is small potatoes." That gave me a laugh! So... there are times when the translation is a little too nontraditional, but for the most part I've loved it.

To trust steadily in God.

In most translations, this is simply called "faith." And that's what it means... to trust steadily in God is to have faith. But reading it in the Message version helped me slow down and think about it in a different, more meaningful way.

To trust steadily in God.

As I've been thinking about this today, I've been reminded of last semester's Mill retreat, where I first heard the phrase "We never get to graduate from trust" (See my post on October 30, 2012). The phrase still challenges me, mostly because I so often find myself trying to avoid total trust in God. 

It reminds me of when I was little, and I'd lay on my living room carpet and laugh hysterically as my dad would "step" on my belly as he crossed from one side of the room to the other. I thought I had abs of steel, but of course he was stepping in such a way as to avoid putting any real weight on me. 

It's as if I do the same thing with God. Sure, I'll put a little weight on him... but I don't want to put too much. It seems safer and more comfortable not to. 

But that's not what faith is about. I'm called to "trust steadily in God," not to "trust when there's no risk involved."

The word "steady" has many definitions, including:

1. Firm in position or place; fixed.
2. Direct or unfaltering; sure.
3. Free or almost free from change, variation, or fluctuation; uniform.
4. Unwavering, as in purpose; steadfast.
5. Reliable; dependable.

Fixed. Sure. Uniform. Steadfast. Dependable.

So often I am the opposite - changeable. Wavering. Inconsistent. Disloyal. Unreliable.

And yet God's love and grace towards me is steady, so tonight I'm making the decision - again - to trust steadily in him. I'm never going to graduate from this trust.

But I don't want to.