The Formula

Before reading what God has been putting on my heart, I want to challenge you to take a moment to write down your definition of a word. Your answer doesn't have to be anything profound, but try not to use a dictionary. I would also encourage you to write it down, simply because it may give added relevance to the rest of this post. Ready? Here's the question:

What is your definition of "religion?"

If you're like me, you are a bit overwhelmed when asked this. Perhaps you are sitting there thinking,

Isn't this something that theologians, philosophers, and historians have debated for centuries? What kind of question is that for someone like me?

Part of me has always figured that not knowing what "religion" really means is okay. After all, growing up surrounded by Christians, I have constantly been reminded that "Christianity isn't about religion, it's about relationship!" However lately I have wondered whether or not this is another Christian cop-out. Nearly everyone in today's culture looks at "religious people" negatively, and in my opinion it's because, too often, we as Christians aren't illustrating it's true meaning.

If we won't provide an clear depiction of what "religion" is, then someone else will.

I once heard - and fully believe - that when Judgement Day comes we are going to see that the Enemy's favorite way of ensnaring his victims was not by dragging them into some giant sin, but by lulling them into a life of (comfortable) apathy. Satan wants Christians and non-Christians alike to believe that religion is not only meaningless and fake, but corrupt. If we don't know what religion is supposed to look like and don't care, he wins.

Alright, so how do we fight against this lie that Satan is trying to spread? Should we go get a degree in theology so that we can discover and live the true formula for religion?

Only if you want to. Or you can simply pick up your Bible and find it.

Oh, I get it. You're going to give me the whole spiel about the Bible being God's Word and having everything I need for life and godliness. Got that one last Sunday, Soph.

Though I believe that the Word is God's primary way of communicating what authentic religion looks like, He makes it even simpler than that. James 1:27 says

"Religion that God our Father
accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows
in their distress and to keep oneself
from being polluted by the world."

There it is. The formula is right in front of our noses, clear as clear can be. So what the heck is all the confusion and arguing about? Everyone seems to have a different idea of what religion looks like, yet it's spelled out for us right there. When I Googled the phrase "What is Religion," 65,900,000 results appeared. Most definitions seem to focus on religion being "the strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny (wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn)." I find it interesting that James 1:27 says nothing about belief or faith. Not that those are bad things, but I do think that there is a reason for this.

For the past week and a half, God has constantly cause me to return to this idea. Religion is not synonymous with faith, it's the evidence of it, He says to me. You're sick of people bashing "religious" people? Be a disciple who lives MY definition of true religion, not your culture's.

In Isaiah 58 God again outlines the kind of lifestyle He is looking for in His people.

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday."

If you need to re-read that, please do so. I have, over and over in the past week and a half, and something is awakening inside me. What am I wasting my life on? I look at the words in bold and think to myself, "Isn't that exactly what I long to see happen in my life?" Then I look at the words in italics and realize God has it all road-mapped out for me.

It's easy to read, but not so easy to live. I've been asking God to give me a better understanding of what that kind of lifestyle would actually look like in my everyday life. I wish I could tell you that I have it figured out, but I don't. I'm getting bits and pieces, but there's a lot I'm still wondering about.

One thing I know is this: The way of life that He is calling us to is not meant to be a temporary "project" we take part in, but our lasting purpose.

When I stand before the throne of God, I want to be able to say that during my time on earth I stood against injustice, that I tangibly loved those who were in need, that I spent myself on behalf of the hungry. Will I have lived God's definition of true religion, or will I have been too caught up in conforming to what my culture defined it as?

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." ~ C.S. Lewis

Extraordinary in the Ordinary...

There are already a couple of things that God is doing in me as of starting this 40 day fast. But there is one in particular that I feel like sharing today.

Every so often, whether through television, radio, magazines, or simply walking through the hallways of my school, God drops a little "wake-up bomb" right in front of me. In these moments I am reminded that as I am out and about living my everyday life, there are people who are hurting and in desperate need of love and healing.

Before today, the most recent event was as I was watching a show called Addicted that follows drug and alcohol addicts getting help from an interventionist. Right before my eyes, the lives of a young couple were being destroyed by their use of drugs. My stomach was turning as I watched them injecting needle after needle of drugs into their system, crying each time as they did it. My eyes welled up as I realized their bondange and the broken existence they so vehemently hated, yet could not seem to escape.

The drug usage wasn't the part of the show that I found so disturbing, it was the fact that this was going on in two normal lives, one normal hotel room, one regular town.

"Who's to say this isn't happening nextdoor, down the street, in the life of one of my classmates?" I thought.

The reminder that there are hurting people all around me - even if they aren't dealing with addictions - hit me like a punch to the stomach. I laid in bed that night, embarassed by the oblivion I so contentedly abide in.

Today our church hosted day #2 of "Freely Give & Freely Receive," a time during which church members drop off anything from their homes that they haven't recently used or don't need, for people who do need it to take. They asked for volunteers to help out, so my best friend, brother and I went after church to be put to work.

Little did I know as I unloaded, sorted, and organized trashbag after trashbag of used clothing that I was about to have another "wake-up bomb" go off in my face. As I was putting some women's clothing in it's place, a woman walked up and began browsing the hangers. There was nothing that particularly stood out about her, she just looked like a frazzled mother toting around a newborn and toddler as she quietly scanned the rows of clothing for something that might fit.

She avoided eye contact as I passed behind her to put some clothes in boxes, and I sadly wondered if it was because she was embarassed. To confirm my suspicion, the little girl standing beside her mother boldly said, "Thank you for your help, but we don't need any help!" At first I thought she was speaking to me, and was searching for a response as I realized she was in fact speaking to another volunteer behind me who had been assigned to help the woman find anything she might need.

As the woman hurriedly bent over to shush her little girl, I felt a quiet voice speaking to me,

"You don't have to look any further than your own church parking lot to find people in desperate need of someone to simply love and care for them."

Immediately, my heart was convicted again of its self-centeredness. I get so caught up in asking God for opportunities to be His hands and feet that I overlook the people right under my nose who are longing for someone to come alongside and share their load. That woman walking into Wal-Mart beside me, the quiet girl walking past my house, the person sitting beside me at church.

Its as if we as Christians are looking at our world with binoculars, trying to spot someone in the far distance that might need us, and leaving the people standing right in front of us to remain out of focus.

Reading my chapter out of Matthew this evening, I saw a familiar verse,

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory,
and all the angels with him, he will sit
on his throne in heavenly glory.
All the nations will be gathered before him,
and he will separate the people one from another
as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
He will put the sheep on his right
and the goats on his left.
Then the King will say to those on his right,
'Come, you who are blessed by my Father;
take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you
since the creation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in,
I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was sick and you looked after me,
I was in prison and you came to visit me.'"
~ Matthew 25:31-36

There is nothing glamorous about volunteering some time to unload trashbags and hang clothes on hangers, but then again there isn't anything glamorous about giving a stranger a drink. Sometimes I wonder if, when we get to heaven, we'll watch a replay of our lives. And how many times is Jesus going to point to that kid passing me in the hall and say, "That was me."

It's easy to ignore them as long as we're caught up in our busy schedules, but how easy will it be to try to explain "I was just really busy/tired/stressed that day," sitting with the King of Kings, my Savior? Recently I heard a chilling question:

"What have I done today that impacted eternity?"

It's a question I want to be able to ask myself every night before bed, and answer with joyful confidence. I don't want to pass by opportunities, I want to be a person whose eyes are opened on a spiritual level to what's going on in the people all around me.

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal."
~C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)

40 Days of Consecration

Every summer, my church hosts the Desperation Conference. This year, my youth group _TAG is committing to 40 Days of Consecration prior to the first conference. These forty days will be made up of us voluntarily fasting something we value in order to 1) grow in intimacy with God and 2) prepare our hearts for a move of God.

I think it is interesting that while God is stirring in me this dissatisfaction with my comfortable Christian routine, my youth pastor is introducing this challenge to be people who fast. A couple days ago I sat down to write out some ideas on what to fast. As per my continuing frustration, I found myself going the "easy" route. Here's my first list:

I will be fasting: Excess.
1) TV = max of 1hr/wk
2) Movies = max of 1/wk
3) Facebook = max of 10min/day
4) Snacks = only healthy snacks
5) Music = no secular

Looking back at it, two words come to mind: TOO EASY. Sure, it's a little bit of a stretch, but definitely manageable. However at the time, I justified it by telling myself that I might have times where people were going to a movie and I wanted to be able to go. Or that I need to be able to get onto Facebook to check info/RSVPs regarding my graduation party in a couple weeks. When it comes right down to it, I was counting the cost and saying God wasn't worth that much sacrifice.

At _TAG last night, Perkins (our youth pastor) said something that struck me as being exactly what I'm being convicted of in my own life. Here's an excerpt from my notes,

"We're in a rhythm of life. We get used to what's going on around us. Fasting breaks that rhythm. This isn't a project, it should be something we choose because God is at work in us."

This immediately got me thinking. Isn't my methodical, easy-going rhythm what's frustrating me right now? Then why am I still trying to take the simple road, a road that requires little-to-no effort from me? Then Perkins challenged us with something more, reading us 2 Samuel 24:14-25. The story is about King David, who is distressed by a plague that the Lord has brought on Israel because of his sin. Seventy thousand of his people have died, and David is told to build altar to God on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite. We'll pick up in verse 19 (bold is added).

"So David went up, as the LORD had commanded through Gad.
When Araunah looked and saw the king and his men coming
toward him, he went out and bowed down before the king with
his face to the ground. Araunah said, 'Why has my lord the king
come to his servant?' 'To buy your threshing floor,' David
answered, 'so I can build an altar to the LORD, that the plague
on the people may be stopped. 'Araunah said to David, 'Let
my lord the king take whatever pleases him and offer it up.
Here are oxen for the burnt offering, and here are threshing
sledges and ox yokes for the wood. O king, Araunah gives
all this to the king.' Araunah also said to him, 'May the LORD
your God accept you.' But the king replied to Araunah,
'No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD
my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.' So David bought
the threshing floor and the oxen and paid fifty shekels of silver
for them. David built an altar to the LORD there and sacrificed
burnt offerings and fellowship offerings. Then the LORD answered
prayer in behalf of the land, and the plague on Israel was stopped."

After reading this passage, I decided that I want a heart like David's. I don't want to take advantage of the easy solution when it costs me nothing! The very nature of a sacrifice to God is that you have to sacrifice something. So today I went into my GodTime asking God for the courage and conviction to fast something that will HURT.

I am currently reading in Jonah, and as I began reading my chapter for the day, I came across a passage that I had previously underlined. It says,

"Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
But I, with a song of thanksgiving,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
Salvation comes from the Lord."
~ Jonah 2:8-9

This will be my prayer over the next forty days as I let go of the worthless idols in my life. I refuse to be one of those who "forfeits the grace that could be theirs." I will be someone who sacrifices with joy. What I vow I will make good.

So here is my new and improved fasting list.

During the period of May 14, 2010 - June 23, 2010, I will fast:
1) All TV
2) All movies
3) All Facebook
4) All Twitter
5) All secular music
6) All unhealthy snacks
7) All candy
8) All soda

This will cost me. But I'm expectant of a move of God both in me, in _TAG, and consequently, the nation and world. Who knows what He'll do?

Comfortable

"Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried." ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

My life is comfortable. I have a great family - I know a lot of people say that, but I really do. My parents love each other, they love me, and they take care of our family. I have four younger brothers, and they are my best friends. We live in a beautiful home in downtown Colorado Springs, a city which recently came in third as one of the “Best Cities for Relocating Families.” I could go on and on, but the point is, I really can't complain about my life.

Lately God has been speaking a lot to me about my easy Christian lifestyle. I've found myself standing at the foot of a wall called Comfort. Beyond it lies a life of intensified holiness, but there is a cost: I'll have to give up the security that the wall provides me. But enough with the symbolism. In Matthew 16:24-26 Jesus says,

"If anyone would come after me,
he must deny himself
and take up his cross and follow me.
For whoever wants to save his life
will lose it, but whoever loses his life
for me will find it.
What good will it be for a man
if he gains the whole world,
yet forfeits his soul?
Or what can a man give
in exchange for his soul?"

Growing up in a Christian community, I've always known that Christianity is not meant to be easy. But this knowledge is only now beginning to penetrate my heart. I'm at this point in my life that I can no longer justify pacing back and forth behind this wall of comfort, I either need to set camp or climb over.

I'm not much of a risk-taker, but I want to scale this wall. Dissatisfaction is brimming up inside of me, and God is beginning to drop some ideas onto my heart of what it looks like to live in greater obedience to Him. We weren't designed to live in apathy, we aren't destined for living within the status quo. Jesus came that we may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).

I'm ready to delve into more of the life God has for me. What is there to lose?

So right here I am giving myself a challenge: to be aware of the moments in which God is offering me a chance to go deeper in Him. Recognize my fear of the unknown and uncomfortable, and count the cost. Forsake the ease of this current life for something so much greater. He is worthy.

"Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: 'To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!" ~ Revelation 5:13

The beginning...

So here I am... sitting cross-legged on my bed as I try to come up with something worthwhile to say in my first blog post. Next to me sits a pile of schoolwork which I could be doing right now, but considering tomorrow I take my last final, there really isn't much motivation for me to do that right now. Though I've been taking nothing but college classes for two years now, tomorrow marks the official end of my (five year) high school career.

Finally.

I'm not even sure what my future plans are, but I guess that's part of why I started this blog. To help me process. So why call it Delve? Well, for one it sounded way cooler than it's synonyms (research, inquire, probe, examine, explore), but mainly because I think it says something about my nature. In my old favorite chapter of the Bible, Proverbs 8, Wisdom says,

"I love those who love me,
and those who seek me find me.
With me are riches and honor,
enduring wealth and prosperity.
My fruit is better than fine gold;
what I yield surpasses choice silver.
I walk in the way of righteousness,
along the paths of justice,
bestowing wealth on those who love me
and making their treasuries full."

My name is Sophia, which comes from the Greek word for "wisdom." I think God meant for this to be part of my identity - for me to be someone who delves into the depths His wisdom. Even as a kid, I remember reading this passage and sensing a longing being stirred up in me to pursue Wisdom.

So I suppose this blog is a place that I hope to share some of whatever it is I'm delving into. There's a lot that I think about, and sometimes it helps for me to get it down on paper... or keyboard. But should anyone read this, I hope it will challenge you to delve deeper, as well. Not just in the relationships around you, not just into a greater level of human understanding, but into the Man who possesses the greatest love.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." ~ John 15:13