This quote set me thinking.
"Every time you help the poor in Jesus' name, you are bringing the kingdom to them. You are making that place, that realm, reflect the rule of God. You are making things look the way they would if we allowed God to run the place. Because He is through you."
As I was thinking about this today, I was reminded of two events in my life that have occurred in the last two weeks, and was encouraged by what I felt God saying to me.
First, over this past weekend I was at the local grocery store picking up some food. As I was walking in, a young man was standing outside asking for donations to a ministry here in San Diego that helps homeless children. I walked past, but immediately felt a tug at my heart. I don't remember ever giving money to anyone in front of a grocery store before, but as I walked inside I knew that God was asking me to give to this ministry that was caring for his kids.
So as I was leaving, I walked over and started a conversation with the young man. He told me about the ministry, saying that they bring kids off the streets, give them food and clothing, and send them to school and church. As we talked, I found out that he himself had graduated from the program, and was now independent and going to a community college. He was shy, but the gratitude he had for what he'd been given had obviously compelled him to help.
I gave what little I had in my wallet, and walked away encouraged by what this ministry was doing. To give to it in such a small way seemed silly, but I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to hear about the work he was accomplishing in the lives of these kids.
When I think back to that evening, I find myself wishing that I could somehow follow that money. To see where it went. To see how it helped - even in the smallest way - a child understand the love of his Father.
But I can't. And as I was thinking about this quote from Lucky, I felt God speak something to me.
You don't know how I will use those few dollars, but even with the little that you gave I can do great things. You won't see it until you reach eternity, but you helped to make a child's life reflect my rule. Be content with that knowledge, and wait.
Of course it would be nice to always see the impact of my obedience now, but I'm realizing that there's a certain beauty and mystery to God and the way he includes us in the spread of his kingdom. Sometimes he asks us to act and then encourages us by allowing us to witness the direct result of our obedience. And sometimes he asks us to have faith that he's moving even when we don't see it.
The other incident I want to mention happened two weeks ago. I attend the The Rock college group's Wednesday night services, and on this particular night our post-sermon table discussion ended early. Not wanting to disturb the people at other tables by getting up and leaving, everyone remained there to talk.
I'm not sure how the conversation began, but the guy next to me ended up telling me about some of his problems with the Christian faith. For the most part, he felt that some of the Christian ideals are a little outdated and naive, that they aren't all plausible or applicable in modern day society.
The answer that I felt like God had given me was clear. Unfortunately, my delivery wasn't. There are times that I am able to clearly articulate my thoughts, and this was not one of them. About fifty percent of what came out of my mouth gave me the feeling that I was making less sense than actually communicating anything that God really wanted to say to this guy. In fact, there were moments that I could practically see a thought bubble above his head with the words She's just as naive as her faith! inside it.
Walking out to my car that night, I felt discouraged. I had chosen to speak boldly when the Holy Spirit gave me a message, and yet I felt like I had completely failed.
I really blew that one, God. I hope you can work around my screw-up, I thought.
And then I heard God say something to my heart. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you said exactly what I needed you to? I'm not interested in your eloquence, I'm interested in your obedience. I'm the one doing the work in his heart, not you. I asked you to speak and just because you didn't see him make a change in his beliefs doesn't mean I'm not using your words. All it means is you aren't God, and I am.
What a relief. It reminds me of Paul's words to the Corinthians, "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything but only God, who makes things grow." (1 Corinthians 3:6-7)
We are the ambassadors of our King; living, speaking, and praying his kingdom into existence everywhere we go. But the actual kingdom renewal does not rest on our shoulders. We're only the proclaimers. It is the Messiah who brings life.
Looking at moments like the ones I've shared in this new light makes me even more excited for heaven. I imagine God sitting me down and saying something like, "Remember when you gave a couple dollars to that homeless ministry? Look how I used it to bring comfort and peace to a little girl whose life had known nothing but turmoil. She got a taste of the kingdom because you were faithful to move when I asked you to. And see that guy you talked to at church that night? I used your words to challenge him to discover something he believed in strongly enough to speak up for, even when it made him look foolish. He eventually encountered my truth and you had a part to play in that."
Even just picturing the love in his eyes at that moment makes me ache for all the times I ignore the Holy Spirit's whisper. Who am I to judge whether or not I have a worthwhile contribution? If all he's asking of me today is to say a couple kind words to a stranger or buy a sandwich for a person on the sidewalk asking for money, how can I decide it's not worth my time?
I hope you find this as encouraging and challenging as I have. I want to be more faithful to listen and obey when the Holy Spirit nudges me, and let God do the what he will, knowing that he is the one at work, not me.
"My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working."
~John 5:17
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